I am coming out of a wasteland of defeat, discouragement, and dissatisfaction – and what a joy it is to leave it behind. The last two years have been the best years of my life; I got married, moved to a beautiful little house, and landed an incredible and fulfilling job. However, they have also been the most difficult. I have been so distracted – making up any and every excuse not to grow and spend time with my First Love, and I am so grieved that I haven’t done anything about it until now. Oh how much I’ve missed, pushing my Savior away.
This January I resolved to start reading my Bible daily, so I dusted off my one-year Bible my parent’s had given to me on my 12th birthday, and started diving into the Word. At first it was a legalistic obligation, I felt such guilt if I didn’t read the daily chapters. But after a week, I couldn’t get enough of God’s Word. I started wanting to read it at night, as well as in the mornings before work. God gave me an excitement and a hunger for His Word, stronger than I’ve ever felt. Every worship session and every teaching spoke directly to my heart and again, I was undone. But there was no condemnation, because God doesn’t bring condemnation. There was just tender conviction that brought me to this place of surrender. God was reminding me of His holiness and mercy and of His thoughts toward me; I am precious and chosen.
This is a time of growth and peace, and although it’s so foreign, it’s also so refreshing. I’m seeing fruit in my life, and I’m raising the bar – no more passiveness, no more excuses, no more shame and guilt. I’m thankful that God’s made a way for my little sinner-self to know him, and choose him, and I’m so reliant on His grace to carry me through. God hasn’t left me hanging, He’s given me His word, and His word is alive and active, and it never returns void. I’m in awe that God chose me for a purpose-filled life, serving and glorifying Him.
God isn’t finished with us until the day that Jesus comes back. Until then, we are all a work in progress. It’s never too late for God to do His work, and we’re never beyond saving or too broken to be mended and healed. God is the Healer and Savior. He didn’t come to save the righteous, but he came for sinners. He came to set captives free, make blind eyes see, and deaf ears hear; He came to raise the dead to life. You might not be in physical captivity; you may not be blind, deaf, or dead. But, I know you were once (or still are) spiritually blind, deaf, captive and ultimately dead. What a hopeless state. But what a merciful and gracious God, that He would see us at our worst and still call us as worthy to be His people.